So you want to know the man behind the myth? Brief but fascinating biography to follow…

It was a dark and stormy night. The king had just finished eating one of those trendy pizzas with bar-b-que sauce and kumquats (or was it kiwi’s). He was pissed because as usual, those fancy pizzas from the national pizza chains are always horrific. He knew it was going to suck, but he ordered it anyway. The girl on the phone sounded cute, and the King never claimed to be a man of willpower.

Finishing the last sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon from his well worn McSorely’s pint glass, he thought to himself, “Self. If that girl could get you to spend $15 bucks on some fancy, piece of shit pizza, imagine how much she could have gotten to talk filthy sex talk to you.”

Mr. Bland was on a mission. The very next day, he picked up a copy of the local yellow pages and a few newspapers. He proceeded to spend an ungodly amount of money calling every phone sex line he could set his eyes on. The adventure was beginning.

After months of this unusual exercise, Mr. Bland was pooped (and damn near broke). He took a break to write out all the things he loved about the calls, and all the things he hated. Two columns that were about to shape the rest of his life.

Larry had so much fun, and met so many interesting and insane people from those lines, that he decided to make it a part of his life. He sold off a portion of a laundry business he owned, and purchased his first toll free line. The king was born.

His lines slowly grew in popularity and size. He become infamous for the detailed training he provided to his operators and the huge percentages he offered them. He recruited, trained and pampered the best of the best, and quickly found himself sitting atop quite a large enterprise. The girls loved him. His callers loved him. He was truly King of the industry.

As he would receive new requests from his callers, new fetishes, he would purchase and acquire the best operators for that particular fetish. Then he turned his sights to the internet, and started buying up major phone sex websites.

Today, the King spends most of his time visiting with his operators, keeping them motivated, and keeping callers happy. He has established himself as a pioneer. He has collected quite a few phone sex numbers, and remains firmly committed to the original principals of his practice.

Treat callers like gods. Bill them ultra discreetly. Offer them a mind bending, erotic experience.
Long live the King!